January 20, 2011
Spiritual lessons come in their own time. Hard lessons and hard-fought battles, internal an external, cannot be rushed through. So has been the course of my life at it's greatest times of transition and growth. Like a great wheel, the spirit clock moves slowly but carefully, forcing me to feel things I'd rather not, forcing me to into darkness and painful places that need examining and reexamining. The spirit clock winds around familiar bends, familiar sorrows that also remind me of how I survived, how the paths were once made clear. Bitterness tempts me, but hope prevails.
Remembering, first, while so much growth is internal — must be felt so deeply and personally — I am never alone. There are other along my way that who will share bits of compassion and who will challenge me further and who will push me to choose what stays and what goes. Growth does not come with out letting go of so many things — death is the door we cannot avoid but must embrace if we are to find new life.
I see with new but familiar eyes, where the clock now rests. With an open heart, I re-ask the questions and re-pray prayers I thought were once answered, with a faith undeterred. Love is everywhere.