Babysteps

I've always prided myself on being a fast-walker; while others casually are strolling down the sidewalk, I'm usually zipping by at my own swift pace. This briskness carries over into many aspects of my life — I wouldn't call it "road rage" but I'm not a very patient driver. I also tend to zip past people in my thought processes (I'm told it's a family trait), often leaving friends and lovers frustrated when I push ahead with ideas that they're still trying to unpack.

So when a freak accident left me with a foot injury that would temporarily put a serious dent in both my foot and my swiftness, I wasn't surprised to get the sympathy of most of my dear friends. But one of my very close friends knowingly pointed out that the universe had delivered me a serious message. I knew she was alluding to The Law of Attraction, but really, was she trying to say that I sabotaged a weekend that I had been looking forward to for several weeks — maybe even all year? Pride weekend? What kind of masochist did she think I was?

Tonight I as I walked home from the train station after work, I took each step very slowly. This was my first big walk home from the train and I knew that I'd need to keep a slow pace with my bad foot. Babysteps. This journey was going to take 3-4 times longer than it usually did. I began to ponder the meaning of "taking babysteps," — the phrase itself. Ah, yes, that is what I was doing, literally and perhaps what I needed to be doing in other areas of my life as well. There are many ways to reach a goal, but plowing ahead full steam seldom gets us what we want, though it might seem the most direct route. But it just doesn't take into account all the nuances of life — the spiral.

The spiral journey, the labyrinth. When I have walked a labyrinth, I have walked it slowly — deliberately, trusting that I would eventually reach the center and then back out again. Such is the life journey: just as we gain some understanding, we become confused by other things. Just as some relationships deepen, others fade; Just as trust builds with someone special, you may feel the sting of betrayal with another. There is a constant give and take, an ebb and flow. This is the sacred journey we are all on — and the essence of the deepest yearning within us. Within the spiral is the yearning to be understood by another, loved and accepted for who you truly are: known and loved unconditionally. At the edges of the spiral, we all must let go of all that is treasured: surrender.

So for today, I will try keep my focus on making small micro-changes in my life, instead of rushing toward completing huge goals.