I've been listening to this song nonstop for days:
And speaking of re-reading through things as a form of process, I came across this old posting today from when The Nurse and were first dating...and so happy. Her comment is even there. I realize that so much of this blog is a history of our relationship — perhaps in time I will have the strength to re-read it all.
So, what am I to think now about the notion of soulmate? I don't know. I just don't. Is it a Hollywood construct? Am I a fool? I know that I believed it with my whole heart...and I want to be a believer, even if that is foolish. Perhaps the fool's life is the happier one. Giving up completely on love — I know too many people who have chosen that path and I don't want to resemble them...but I can admit that I have felt the strong pull to throw in the towel. I mean, heartbreak sucks. Really sucks. But I don't know who I would be then. I wouldn't be me anymore. I would lose some vital part of myself if I gave up that dream. At what age do people finally become so jaded that they just say, "fuck it"?