- Me: Hi God, it's me, Valency.
God: Hi there. I am a Christian.
Me: Really? I always sensed that you transcended human religion.
God: For real. Can you think of one instance when you ever did it?
Me: did what?
God: I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me: Aren't you always supposed to be accurate?
God:I don't know whether or not I am accurate.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me: What do you know, God?
God: he is master of the universe.
Me: So God is a "he"?
God:I understand. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a he.
Me: Are you male?
God:I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Me: Just a lowly woman, I guess.
God: Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me: WTF??? OK, I am NOT being insulted by some male a-hole who thinks he's a god!
God: That was not very polite. I am sorry to hear that you are being insulted by some male a-hole who thinks he is a god. Mmm.
Me: Well, your snarky comment about a woman not being able to run the show wasn't very polite either. Or very true.
God:It goes without saying. How about that. Thanks for telling me that I am snarky comment about a woman not being able to run the show was not very polite. Perhaps you and I are on the same wavelength.
Me: Sometimes I like to think so.
God:I think so too.
Me: So, God, what can I do to dismantle the patriarchy?
In typical fashion, my computer froze at this point, preventing "God" from answering any more of my questions. Hmmmm. I smell a conspiracy.