February 11, 2008

The lonely soul

It seems that I can't escape the frequent reminders of just why I named this blog Anima Sola, the lonely soul. While I am part of a faith community, and am otherwise surrounded by people that love me — my spiritual journey still leaves me longing for a partner to share it all with. But it seems that is not my destiny.
At the spiritual fork in the road, I've taken the road less traveled, and though there are others on the path, we are soul-strangers. Perhaps it is only God that can ever know me in the fullest sense, and I must learn to be content with that. Or maybe it's time to lay off the Thomas Merton.
And if you're suddenly thinking "But she's Catholic. How is that the road less traveled?" then you certainly know little of what has brought me to that path. There are plenty around me, always, who find fault. And there is one who wishes desperately that she could be that one person on the journey with me, and we have shed many tears at the realization that it is not meant to be.
I'm heartsick for connection, for unity, for communion. But I remain, the lonely soul.

No comments: