And so it has come to pass. The moment when I would find myself face to face with The Nurse and her new girlfriend in a social setting. Only...we didn't actually come face to face because her awkwardness with the situation became clear to me within moments of my arrival. Which was strange to me — afterall, I was the one there unaccompanied. Shouldn't I be the one feeling awkward? So, we weren't going to say even a courteous "hello" to each other. Fine. I stood back, secure and in my element, and took it all in. I stood like a tiger in the corner and watched them edge around the room, carefully avoiding any eye-contact with me, but being sure to make the appropriate lovey-dovey gestures, because they knew I was watching. If there's one thing I've got, it's amazing powers of perception, and as I watched, I suddenly saw her as totally pathetic. And that, at least, is something I can have pity for. And if I'm being totally honest, it doesn't hurt when you are showered with compliments and yes, not so kind comments about what the new girlfriend looks like from mutual friends. Hey, I'm only human. And the shift happened, and it was huge. HUGE! It came like a ton of bricks being lifted off of me all at once and suddenly I could FLY! Seven months since our breakup, and I had been tested in fire and come out on top. I looked and felt amazing and it showed. In fact, I've never looked better, on the verge of 40. I'm excited for my future, for all the amazing possibilities that come with Spring. Love is in the air, all around me, and it's exciting.
Anima Sola isn't fond of labels. She is, however, fond of embracing her many paradoxes, and walking the fine lines between religion and politics, with an eye turned toward postmodern religion, feminist theology, and challenging patriarchy from inside the Roman Catholic Church.
There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell." ~From the book The Four Loves by C.S.Lewis