March 11, 2012
Walking the dog
A gorgeous day here in Chicago...and I found myself at the dog park. It probably wasn't an accident that I found myself there...maybe I was searching for answers, for closure — hoping that somehow the "connection" that I imagine psychically links lovers would ring out in her heart like the Bat Signal and she'd find herself drawn there too, to find me in all of my despair. Perhaps I only dreamed that connection existed from the very beginning, or I demand too much from the universe. Can one know when their soulmate is in pain, is broken, is crying out? And at what point is that connection severed — if it existed at all? All I know is that I am still, seven months later feeling it, overwhelmed by it even, and it angers me, fills me with sadness and despair, and yes, regret. I know some of this simply has to do with timing...so many of our anniversaries are marked around this time of year...and it weighs heavily on my heart. May I find peace soon, and know that I am loved.