The path that my faith journey has taken has not been a straight one. A cradle-Catholic, I abandoned my church in my early teens and found myself drawn into the path of Wicca, at first attracted the the honest history of Christianity that it presented to me that my own nine years of Catholic school had hidden. The history of the sacraments, the history of the spread of Christianity, the power of the patriarchy. I have always maintained that "all gods are one god" while on my path, that my essential faith had never changed. I still believe that. But as I have circled back into the Catholic Church in the last decade, and have been called deeper and deeper into relationship with Christ, I am growing to understand that some pathways I have walked down open doorways that are not easily shut, and let in dark elements that linger.
I'm catching glimpses of things I've done, things I've held to, things that I need to confess and let go of in order to to some soul house-cleaning. I have started this process, and am feeling the pull to let go of things that I'm not quite ready to let go of. I have only to trust that somehow at the end of this process, there is a treasure that awaits me.