October 01, 2008

The Last Good Day of the Year

I woke up this morning with a chill — the second day in a row where I felt like I didn't want to leave the warmth of my lover or the blankets. I know this feeling will persist until next Spring. The beginning of Fall not only brings the familiar temperature shift but also a feeling of resistance that has become recognizable to me over the years too. Death (both big and little) lurks behind every corner, and I wonder, how the heck am I supposed to make any progress and create positive change for myself when nature is telling us hunker down. Or is my life to be at odds with nature in this regard? While the leaves fall around me, the days shorten, and life whithers, am I going to be reborn amidst it all? I certainly can't wait for the alignment that Spring would provide. I must become like a greenhouse, and burst with continuous new life and possibility, defying nature and every natural tendency to shrink into myself and stagnate.

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