November 03, 2007

Bad medicine

You can be sure you're on the right track when your challenging yourself to be a better person or quit bad habits, and God sends you more and more tests. I've gotten a couple this weekend and I'm doing my best to pass them, if only by the sheer force of my will. Sure, I raised my fist and said, "yeah right, God, you've got one helluva sense of humor. F**k you." But dammit, I'm gonna pass the test if it kills me. It's gonna taste like bad medicine, but I've had to choke that down before. Just crossing my fingers that there's really some good that can come out of this, and that I'm not just caving in to please other people. Adding resentment to my already-full plate wouldn't be a good idea right now.

1 comment:

vegan.mama said...

I'm going to sound like a broken record, but this isn't a test of will and it's not a matter of power or control. Nothing should ever be that difficult. Neither of us has any way of knowing what will happen (or, in your terms, what God's will is for you) but I will tell you this: "God" doesn't want you to suffer. "God" doesn't give people tests. "God"'s will always involves letting go completely and having faith that more will be revealed. [Yes, you can smirk away now...]