I've been trying to stay aware of my actions and emotions when I'm feeling triggered. For maybe the first time, today I was able to recognize my compulsive urge (to flee a stressful situation), and to resist it — choosing instead to breathe, talk it through, and get support. It was really hard. There was a moment when I felt a rage building inside of me and in my mind I hurled glass against the wall and overturned the coffee table. But I just sat down and breathed, got a grip, then talked it through.
I'm hopeful that as I continue to take these steps, I'm on the road to healing.